Post House sale blues!

 
Well the house that has been my home for the past 22 years is now finally sold.  There were a number of moments last week when I really did think this might not happen and it would all fall through.  My stress levels were through the roof and I am certain that I was not a happy bunny to share a house with.  It was made worse by the fact that I was unable to keep the house on anyhow.  The mortgage payments were too high, the period where the interest rate was fixed had passed and as the mortgage was with my ex-husband's bank they refused to reconsider the interest rates and pushed it up to the going rate, no concessions.  So it was with a heavy heart I put it up for sale.  It had been the lifetime home of my daughter and where I had lived for the longest part of my life. 

My daughter and I packed the house up and put most of the furniture into storage and the rest we freecycled to those people who seemed to need the things we had to offer the most.  We are very fortunate that someone came forward and offered us a place to stay, where we are currently.  I do have somewhere new for us to move to but I need to make sure my daughter is able to stay in this area and complete her sixth form studies.  So now I move on to the project of getting the new place ready for us to move to.  It will be odd, it is odd already to see other cars parked on what was once our driveway.  To know that this period in your life has closed completely is hard to accept/for it to sink in.  I have to just give myself enough time I guess and it will all start to make sense.

Now I have some new challenges on my horizon, some I can't talk about here yet, but might do in time, it is too soon currently.  I am absolutely terrified of being vulnerable, being hurt again, but I guess you have to be prepared to take risks, go out on a limb and trust in the collective energy/universe which has protected me so far, that it will continue to do so and won't let me down.  This sounds sad and perhaps maudlin, but I don't mean it to be, it is simply reflective.  I am in a deep period of reflection and consideration.  I just have to be kind to myself, give myself time and some self-love ♥ Bx